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HOW TO ORDER & PAYMENT

I accept orders from pretty much anywhere in the world.

Paypal is my preferred method of payment. I will also accept money orders, cashier's checks and concealed cash (at your own risk), PROVIDED YOU FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS BELOW.

I do not accept non-U.S. funds. If you are outside the U.S. and will be mailing your payment, please make sure you get an INTERNATIONAL money order.

You DO NOT need a Paypal account to use your credit card with the Paypal shopping cart. Please see the instructions below for more details.

How to use the Paypal Shopping Cart:

1. When you see an item you'd like to purchase, click the "Add to Cart" button. If you are on one of the shop gallery pages, click the picture or name of the item you are interested in to see a detailed description, as well as measurements for the item.
2. Check the measurements of the item to make sure it will fit.
3. When you are finished shopping, click the "View Cart" button at the top of the main page. This will show the items in your cart and your subtotal. Please note that the shipping fee will show up as "$0.00" until you enter your location at Paypal's checkout page. If you would like to know the shipping cost before placing your order, see the rates by location here.
4. Click "Proceed to Checkout". This will redirect you to Paypal's secure checkout system. You do NOT NEED a Paypal account to use your credit card with the Paypal shopping cart. You will be redirected to Paypal's website, where you will have the option to log in or to create an account. If you do not want to sign up for a Paypal account, click "Continue" under the heading Don't have a Paypal account?

If you are having trouble with the shopping cart, please contact me at smarmycity [at] gmail [dot] com with your order and your location, and I will send you an invoice.

How to pay by mail (money order / cashier's check / concealed cash):
I do not accept non-U.S. funds. If you are outside the U.S., please make sure you get an INTERNATIONAL money order.

I will accept personal checks for custom orders ONLY.

Due to an increase in people completely flaking on mailed payments, I have been forced to create the following rules.

1. Email me at smarmycity [at] gmail [dot] com with the item(s) you'd like to order. MAKE SURE you have checked the measurements of the item to be certain it will fit.
2. In the email, you will need to provide:
   • YOUR NAME
   • YOUR MAILING ADDRESS
   • YOUR METHOD OF PAYMENT (money order/cashier's check or AT YOUR OWN RISK concealed cash - "concealed" cash means you put it in a card or fold some paper around it so the mailman or other sinister character can't smell the cash. "At your own risk" means it's not my fault if it gets lost in the mail, though this has never happened to any of my customers.)
3. I will place the item on hold for you and email you back with your total.
4. The item will remain on hold for 7 days if you are in the U.S., 10 days if you are outside of the U.S.
5. You MUST email within 2 days of the item being placed on HOLD to confirm that your payment has been mailed. Failing to do so will result in the item being taken off hold.
6. When you send your payment, PLEASE indicate who you are, and what you are paying for. I need your name, email, what item you're paying for, and your shipping address.
7. If you do not pay for the item on hold, you will be banned from mailed payment in the future.
   

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REFUNDS & RETURNS

All items are handmade with care and described thoroughly and honestly, and I have the utmost confidence that you will be 100% satisfied with your item. If you have a problem with your item or think I've made a mistake, please email me with your concerns. I know very well that without happy customers, I wouldn't be able to do any of this. I try my best to make every item built-to-last so that you'll come back or tell a friend about me.

Please read the item description carefully, and check the measurements listed to make sure it will fit. The generic Small/Medium/Large sizing is meant as a guide ONLY. I can not stress enough how important it is to measure either yourself, or a clothing item that fits you well before ordering. An item not fitting because you didn't measure yourself correctly is not an acceptable reason for requesting a refund. For more information on how to measure yourself, please click here.

If there is a problem with your order, please contact me within 10 days of receiving your order.

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SHIPPING

Orders are shipped in 1-3 business days from the time of your order. If you are a non-U.S. customer, please see the rates below.

I recommend purchasing insurance for your order. Click here for rates. If you do not purchase insurance for your order, I can not be held responsible for damage or loss.
Also, please note that I purchase Delivery Confirmation on all domestic packages I send out.

You will be able to choose between Standard and Express shipping for the U.S. when you complete your order.
Standard U.S. shipping is via USPS Priority Mail, which usually takes 2-3 business days. Purchases under $40 will ship via First Class, which usually takes 2-7 business days.
Express U.S. shipping is via USPS Express Mail, which is overnight to most destinations.

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Non-U.S. customers have the choice between Economy (First Class) and Priority shipping.
Orders shipped First Class International will arrive in 1-3 weeks.
Orders shipped Priority International will arrive in 4-7 days.

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INSURANCE

I recommend purchasing insurance for your order. If you do not purchase insurance for your order, I can not be held responsible for damage or loss.
To add insurance, please choose the appropriate option for your location and order total below.

U.S. INSURANCE Order Total Insurance Rate up to $100 $1.10 up to $200 $2.20

CANADA INSURANCE Order Total Insurance Rate up to $100 $1.30 up to $200 $2.60   WORLDWIDE INSURANCE Order Total Insurance Rate up to $100 $2.10 up to $200 $4.20 Back to top GARMENT CARE Your order should come with a small note with care instructions, but if I left it out (Oops, sorry!) or you lost it or don't remember, please read on for some basic care instructions. Most of my clothing should be able to withstand a gentle machine wash and low heat drying. Anything with excessive metal pieces (d-rings, grommet tape, hook & eye tape) or fragile fabric or trim (fishnet, mesh, lace) should be handwashed and laid flat to dry. To ensure the longest, happiest life of your garment, I would recommend hand washing with mild soap and laying flat to dry. Back to top CUSTOM ORDERS I take custom orders on t-shirt reconstructions only, which means you must send me a t-shirt for your order. No, I do not print the images for you. If you want a Nirvana dress, you must send me a Nirvana t-shirt. If you want a Misfits skirt, you must send me a Misfits t-shirt. And so on. Please see the Custom section for more information on how custom orders work. Back to top DISCOUNTS I currently offer 10% off your next purchase if you email me pictures of you in your SmarmyClothes for my customer gallery - The Smarmy Army. If you're looking for some sort of crazy deal, your best bet is to check the sale items in my Etsy shop or my auctions on Ebay. If you are a member of a derby team and would like to have custom reconstructed uniforms made, please email me! I offer discounts for derby teams and bands that are ordering for a large group (5+ pieces). Back to top WHOLESALE & CONSIGNMENT I am not currently taking wholesale or consignment orders. Sorry! Back to top   WHATTHECRAFT.COM I draft all of my own patterns, so you can not find them in a store. Additionally, I do NOT sell my patterns. However, in addition to SmarmyClothes, I also run WhatTheCraft.com, a site dedicated to craftiness. I offer free sewing tutorials, as well as tips, articles, and reviews. If you want to know where to buy fabric and other materials online, check out the Craft Resource Directory at WhatTheCraft. If you emailed me asking where I got a specific shirt or specific fabric and I didn't respond, it's not because I hate you. I get a LOT of questions like that, and to be quite honest, I buy so many shirts and so much fabric, that I usually don't remember exactly where something came from. Back to top ABOUT THE DESIGNER My name is Alexis, and I do pretty much everything around here at SmarmyClothes.com - designing the patterns, sewing the clothes, ordering t-shirts and fabric, taking photos, answering emails, designing and maintaining the website, and shipping orders. I am not formally trained as a fashion designer. As far as schoolin', I'm actually a registered (punk rock) nurse. I'm pretty much self-taught, so I can't recommend any good fashion design programs. I learned to sew in a middle school "Life Skills" class and from my mom. After learning the basic skills of sewing, it's pretty much just lots of practice from there. I've been selling my stuff since 2003, and SmarmyClothes.com was established in January of 2005. SmarmyClothes was pretty much a hobby until I finished my bachelor's degree (for Nursing) in December of 2005, when I decided that scrapping the degree I'd worked 4.5 years on and doing fashion design full time sounded like a grand idea. I do this because I love it. I am not getting rich over here, trust me. I'd be making at least twice as much money as a nurse, but nursing isn't what I love doing. Sure this has it's perks- I get up at 11, stay up til 2, and don't have to answer to anyone by myself, but I also work pretty much 7 days a week and my jerk of a boss (hey wait, that's me!) doesn't give me health insurance. :) Thanks to all of you that buy my clothes. If you didn't support SmarmyClothes, I know exactly where I'd be... (poking people with needles and taking stool samples all day). You guys rock! Back to top